A Letter To Them

by Ksenia Vlasova-Kuznetsova

I know it hurts.

I know you want it to stop.

I won’t tell you that it’s gonna be OK

because it won’t.

You’ve changed,

So has the world around you.

The walls you built have

Shattered, one too many times.

The vision of a perfect life,

( where you don’t have to struggle,

To wake up every day wishing you hadn’t,

To try and make it through a single day

Without wanting TO DIE),

Have burst indefinitely.

The scars on your body are

The tightropes you walked,

Trying to see how far you could go

Without falling to your death.

I KNOW there’s nothing you

Want more than to

Shake off the heavy burdens that

WEIGH you down like massive boulders,

The responsibilities and past mistakes digging into

Your back with sharp stabs of pain and regret.

I KNOW you want to spread your wings and soar

The blue skies of freedom and peace –

To be untroubled and finally land in the tree of

Love and Self-forgiveness.

I KNOW the only thing holding you back

Is reality.

The reality of your actions hitting your loved ones

Like a million glass shards digging into their hearts.

The reality of your actions being so inconceivable,

Treacherous, outrageous and implausible,

That you put down the pills or the razor.

Because I KNOW that you know

That the pain you live with everyday

Will become their pain,

their regret of not being

Able to do anything,

of not being able to take

Away your worries and suffering.

If I had just 60 seconds to tell you why

You SHOULDN’T,

Or why it’s not worth it,

All I’d say is that

The pain you feel now,

I know it drowns you,

Engulfs you,

Suffocates you,

Makes you want to end your life.

I KNOW you start to feel like you deserve it.

LISTEN TO ME.

You, of all people do not deserve this.

You DESERVE to be happy.

You DESERVE to feel like you belong.

You, one of the purest, yet most damaged people in the unfairness of our world,

DESERVE to not have to cry yourself to sleep,

And you DESERVE to not feel a need to self-harm.

You

Do NOT

DESERVETO DIE.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *