by Indeaki Rune,
Morning has come again, I still stand as I did before, water dripping slowly from the faulty tap. Grandma has been buzzing about since five a.m. and Grandpa has already left for work. He doesn’t earn much at the gas station, but you can’t expect much else when you’re a native. Grandma is watching tv, humming and sewing from her chair. The energy in the house is a good one, so grandma and I don’t feel the need to unleash our inner sages. I have not slept a wink. When I come into the kitchen she looks up and says:
“Hey girl, you’re up early. Ready for the great powwow today?”
“Yes grandma.” I simply say.
“Good, it’ll probably feel nice to get out of this house for a while. It’s just so hot out recently and the bears are really actin’ up. The other day by Firestar’s old house there was a bear just eatin’ all her food! Can you believe it? Geez this year is going to have a great powwow. Junior has been on those grounds preparing everything for three days now. A good thing too, I don’t think my back would have taken it.”
We laugh.
Grandma gets in her old car and drives off. I flit around the kitchen, listening to the tv as I make breakfast. Our traditional costumes rest on the counter. Jingle dresses, headdresses, shawls and beaded jewelry. The leather underneath the beads feels nice to the touch. I slip on a blue necklace. I suspect it would look all very strange to an outsider, but I quite like it. Grandma didn’t make a dress for me this year. She did last year, but she was quite busy, and so here I stand with nothing. I don’t blame her though, she spent such a long time making a medecin blanket and working with the elders. I think she’s very strong to be able to do all that at her age.
I guess I shall just watch the festivities take place. I don’t mind, at all. Although, I am a little sad because I wanted to take place and have fun.
The bike in the garage tempts me, if I take it now I can help set up on the sacred grounds. However I feel so lazy, and I’m scared to ride a bike all alone. Maybe I could just walk, it’s a small reservation and I might meet up with some others who are going. My cousin walks into the room and I sit down, silence. We’ve always had a mutual understanding in our silences. I’m not sure if I’m just saying this to conceal the fact that we’ve never bonded. Not even once this past year that I’ve been here.
“Sheila are you going?” I ask.
“Yeah but not right away. I’m going out with Stormy first though, so don’t tell grandpa.”
Sheila knew I wouldn’t. She grabbed her keys, started her car and sped away. Well, there left my only potential ride. I decide that now would be a good time as any to call my mom, she answered sleepily.
“I have my period. I can’t dance at the powwow.”
My mom didn’t always understand indigenous culture but she tried, for me.
“Well it doesn’t matter does it?”
It mattered to me, I wanted to respect my culture, but I’d upset her enough recently so I said nothing. She smiled and told me that I had time to figure it out. She’s right. I have time.
