By Anonymous
#MeToo
Sexual assault.
The words are provocative, almost as though we are expecting an argument. But let’s not beat around the bush here.
It’s abuse. It’s battery. It’s assault. Verbal and physical.
Many people think that it’s a grey area, but it’s simple. Yes or no.
Yes, through mutual consent, you can touch me.
No, that’s not okay to look at me like I am meat, it’s not okay for you to touch me.
Use your words.
See, the thing about this school is we are very fond of not being straightforward when it comes to expressing things out loud. When it comes down to saying how we feel, we’re lacking. Especially saying the word no.
We do a double take when someone says stop it or leave me alone or don’t do that.
“Stop it.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
Like I am something that you can have your way with.
“Like what?” They’ll say again.
“Never mind.”
I’ve never had sex. And that’s fine. I’m not going to pretend that I somehow know what it’s like to be raped, or the horror when someone thinks it’s okay to “accidentally” touch my breast.
But I have felt physically uncomfortable being alone in a classroom with a boy. When we are the first two to arrive for class, and there’s no teacher in the room yet, and I’m standing there with my arms over my chest wondering what’s going to happen.
I think right now as a teenager, the fear of sexual assault can be terrifying. It makes your heart race. It makes you walk a little faster on the street at night.
And that’s where the school comes in because you can’t condemn a guy for making pornographic noises around you.
You can’t condemn a guy when they make a sexual joke that’s not funny and then add a just kidding at the end.
When a guy puts your phone in his pants and asks you to come and get it if you want it.
When a guy pulls up porn on your computer when you’re not looking and it’s forever in your school history on your laptop.
Or when a guy starts, as he calls it, masturbating your hair.
You can’t explain that feeling of discomfort to a teacher. Because you would have to use your words to describe it, which is something we are clearly stuck on.
They don’t realize that telling a boy NO in this school is no longer enough.
I’m not telling you this because I’m broken. They haven’t hurt me. I haven’t done anything to illicit their inappropriate behavior. It’s not my fault. I’m fine.
But they are hurting themselves because it makes me wonder how exactly Harvey Weinstein began thinking it was okay to rape women? Or how did Kevin Spacey think it was okay to take advantage of a fourteen-year-old?
That type of behavior does not develop in their twenties or thirties. That behavior starts young.
Elders condoning sexual jokes by ignoring them and blaming it on hormones gives boys a special sense of power. And it’s made me realize: sexual assault isn’t about sex.
It’s about power.
They can get away with it now.
Maybe they can get away with it later.
