By Maude Thorens, Year 12
At around 5:00pm during debate Club on Tuesday, I conducted an interview with three Year 13 students.
Violeta, Omar and Swaleh told me a little bit more about just what being a Year 13 is like and just how stressful this start to the new year 2024 has been.
To start off with a question I think we all know the answer to:
Do you guys feel stressed right now?
(All laugh)
Swaleh: Yes.
Omar: Yeah.
Violeta: It’s evolved beyond stress, it’s no longer the stress I knew before, now it’s just a dull ache.
Swaleh: It’s like- It’s like- Well what she’s saying is very philosophical, but it’s true, that this has been the condition for so long that it is just subconscious that if I go to sleep- every night I go to sleep knowing I could have done more.
Violeta: (laughs) yeah!
Swaleh: No matter how much I do, that’s just how it is.
No way, are you kidding me?
All: (laughing)
Swaleh: No!
Omar: We’re being serious.
Well what would you say is the leading cause of your stress right now? (If you had to only choose one thing)
Saleh: Probably college applications for most people I would say
Violeta: Up until recently college applications, but I think now it’s the quality of my IAs, like they’re supposed to be really good, they’re supposed to be super high quality, things you’re supposed to spend over 80 hours on, but I don’t think I’ve spent more than 6 hours on any of them. And so I’m stressed about the fact that I know I can produce work that’s much better but there’s just no more time to do it.
Swaleh: Also I think a lot of people are trying to do well before their college applications.
Violeta and Omar: mhm
Swaleh: Especially in this phase where you’re writing your college applications right now and – I don’t know if everyone has this – but for me it’s been this terrible morphing of like most things I think about I’m like: “how could that affect my application?” or “How could I write this into UCAS?” (laughing) Like you know it’s all stuff like that.
Violeta: You know actually very recently I finished all my college applications, and my life completely changed. I am painting again, I’m reading again, I’m writing poetry again, I’m doing stuff I like (laughs) because I’m not worried about every moment being trackable on my applications. I’ve sent them and what I did, did.
But motivation has changed as well. I don’t know if you guys have experienced this, but I used to do school work and do it well just for the sake of doing it well. But now there’s a clear objective for why I need to do it well, suddenly I have no more motivation to do it well. Because I think it just needs to be good enough for what my bar is. Say my bar is a 7 or a 6 and I have to get good recommendation letters (say this must have been around 6 months ago) that now feels so much lower than what the impossible bar used to be of “do the best you possible can” and that “do the best you possible can” – just because you want to – is so much more motivational. Like, there is no motivation anymore.
Swaleh: Hmm. I think that’s pretty true. I mean college applications will always have an impact. For example, I’m taking a gap year and I’m heavily filtering my interests – I mean I’m still doing things I’m interested in – but I’m heavily filtering my interests definitely by what will leave an impact. If you’re doing something in your bedroom, no one cares. You could easily be an amateur at it, or you could be a prodigy! So you have to kind of make use of all that.
I think – this is not just for highschoolers but probably for all people – I think especially for highschoolers, there’s just a myth of optimal productivity that you’re just getting everything done.
Violeta: Oh yeah. It’s definitely not just for highschoolers-
Swaleh: You’re never going to reach that.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but most of you seem to be saying your main source of stress, or anxiety of sorts, is not feeling able to do all that you can do. Is that right?
All three: yeah.
Swaleh: And that varies.
Omar: There is no time.
Violeta: Yeah, there’s no time, and there are physical limitations. I’m not talking about feeling physically tired or exhausted, but I’m talking about the fact that I think I’ve learned there’s a limit to how much work you can get accomplished in a weekend. Especially if it’s every single weekend – like if you have one weekend that is like a ‘crunch time’ that’s one thing – but there’s a limit to the amount of work you can put into every amount of time. Even if you have say: 14 hours until an assignment is due, with 6 of those hours being waking hours, you’re probably thinking “I can get so much done in those 6 hours!”. Well no you can’t; not If you’re doing it every single day! There is a physical limit – even if you don’t feel that tired – you’ll notice yourself not being able to work, notice yourself needing to sleep, needing to eat, looking at the ceiling for a bit or listening to your own music. You physically won’t be able to force yourself to do it. So when it looks like there is enough time, there isn’t. You’ll just have to compromise on the quality.
Swaleh: Yeah I mean also the thing about not being able to do as much as you can, you would have misinterpreted that as someone feeling like they’re not doing enough, but I think most people probably have a perception of what they want to achieve, and their goals and so its possible that for the three of us (shows himself Omar and Violeta with his hand) we probably have completely different goals or perceptions of what we could do. Or even think that we can do it. We all have different goals and stuff. That’s part of the thing – I guess for IB there’s a ceiling but you’re never going to get anyone telling you “yeah I’m gonna get a 45!” because that’s just ridiculous. I think the 45 is just people who got lucky. Probably.
Violeta: yeah
Swaleh: A 43-44 is impressive, but a 45 is just luck.
Violeta: Especially because TOK feels like it’s a random number generator, and in any language A the difference between a 6 and a 7 is completely- well nothing.
Swaleh: Also uhm, it’s true that in our school the IB tends to tell the students how to manage their time and I think students would definitely succeed if they did it in that way.
Also, everyone is 16 or 17. No one is really using their time responsibly.
Omar: No one wants to drop their social life or all their activities but some of my teachers have told me that’s just what you have to do in order to succeed.
Swaleh: Yeah no for sure. Also, you’re in Year 12? If you go home and you get like an hour or two hours done every day it would be a breeze. But the reality is no one is going to do that. Not even because it’s not possible, but just because people at our age are immature emotionally, and impulsive.
Yeah that’s definitely true. I’ve noticed with maths especially, our teachers always say: just 15 minutes or one or two exercises each day and I know from experience it helps so much when you do it. Most people (myself included) don’t do it at all though, or as consistently as the school and the IB recommends.
Do you feel like that’s still the case in Year 13? Or do you feel like now you’re studying properly but there still just is not enough time?
Violeta: Well isn’t that what I was saying earlier. You see the time and there is lots of it, but when you try to use it, there is a limit to how much your brain will do. This is because we’ve been in this cycle for so long where every weekend we wake up at 8am on Saturday morning and know we have a full day or work ahead of us and then we wake up on Sunday with the exact same thought.
Wow but waking up at 8am is already impressive-
Violeta: That’s already something, yeah, but what will happen to me is I’ll sit down at 8am to work, but then I’ll go and make breakfast which will take around an hour. I’ll then sit back down, work 1h-1h30 and then walk around my house for a bit – which ends up with me not sitting back at my desk for another hour – until ultimately I do, get an hour of work into there but it’s entirely administrative work like checking emails or something, or filling in an application and I’ll end the day having written half an essay that day when I should have written three essays that day and then I’m just like: “what happened to all the time?!”
Swaleh: I think Violeta is right because a lot of times when you’re planning something you don’t remember the fact that you’re a human who’s going to do human things.
Omar: Yeah. At some point-
Swaleh: Every single weekend without fail I’m like: “I’m going to do this, this, this and this!” and – even if I wasn’t doing anything else – I didn’t end up doing all of it. I still was in my room sitting staring at my work-
Violeta: And keep in mind you’re talking to students who have demonstrated their academic prowess and discipline throughout these years. (The three share a look and stare at Omar) Like, there’s no- No! Sorry! (laugh together)
Anyway, the point is this isn’t a personal failure, it’s just we have unrealistic expectations for ourselves.
Ok last question: Would you say, with all this stress and sleepless nights – and despite the human tendency to sometimes do absolutely nothing for an hour – That you are proud of yourselves?
Omar: No.
Swaleh: I would say the proud part comes later. I’m working on something and then maybe I’ll achieve it and be happy. But right now? No! (laughs)
Violeta: I’m working on being kinder to myself so I’m going to say yes, but my gut instinct is to say no. Especially considering what I’ve been proud of myself for in the past.
Well to all three of you, even though I don’t know you well or personally, and to all other Year 13s: I’m proud of you all and how much you have and will continue to accomplish.
Swaleh: Wow this is a really depressing article you’re about to write.
(All laugh)
Yeah.
